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urgency to change then it is unlikely that change will occur.

6. We don’t see how better hospitality will benefit us

What is seen is the increased workload that will be required of “us” if we introduce a number of new steps to welcome “them”. It is easier to see the value of not starting something new that will demand our time than it is to see the value of doing something that “may or may not help us”.

7. New people really are not that important to us

While almost all churches would like to see new people in worship, this does not necessarily translate into actions likely to lead to that result. Reaching new people can be viewed as a luxury, not a necessity. The spiritual condition of those outside the church is not often considered and certainly not considered to be the primary responsibility of the church. It is not uncommon for churches to be far more concerned about “taking care of our members” than helping new people come to a personal faith in Jesus.

Dr. Don Nations is the President of DNA Coaching. He can be reached at don@dnacoaching.com and the DNA Coaching web site is located at www.dnacoaching.com

Text Box: It is no secret that how people are treated at church has a significant impact on whether or not guests return. It is no shocking revelation that how people treat each other at church sets the stage for either growth or decline. It is no new discovery that it is easier for someone to enter a group that is seeking new people than one that has become a closed clique. In spite of this, however, a majority of churches still struggle to be places in which the grace and welcome of God is extended to all people. Why is this? Below are seven reasons that contribute to the lack of outstanding hospitality in churches. We think we are friendly enough already Most churches consider themselves to be friendly. Many guests, especially those without a significant church background, do not experience most churches as friendly places. Simply having a greeter or usher shake someone’s hand and say “Good morning” is not enough. The welcome needs to be intentional and at least set the stage for the beginning of a relationship. Watch during the greeting time in the worship service – are guests continually engaged by people in the church or do they receive a few handshakes and then stand alone waiting for the greeting time to end? 2. We are comfortable so we think everyone else is comfortable

Text Box: For long-time attendees, church is usually a comfortable place to be – they know many people, they know how the service is structured, they know what to wear, they know where the facilities are located and they know the “language” of the church. This is not true for many new people. Repeating the words of the creeds and the Lord’s Prayer from memory may bring comfort to some people but these words are often foreign to guests. Remembering the discomfort we have felt in new and different places will help us do all in our power to make our guests feel comfortable. 3. It is not the issue on which we wanted to work Ask most church people what they most want to see in the future for their church and the responses typically include “more youth”, “more young families”, “more children”, “more money”, “upgrading the facility”, “caring better for aging members” and “saving money for a rainy day”. A response typically not seen is “improve the hospitality system of the church”. When no one is the champion for an idea it rarely becomes the driving force in the life of the church. Unless a group of people in the congregation decide that they want to focus on improving hospitality then

Text Box: it is unlikely to happen. 4. We believe it is the job of new people to fit in with us Here is a common attitude encountered in churches which works against our efforts to grow: We have been at the church a long time. It is “our church”. We helped to keep it going, we have served on the committees, we have provided the money, we have been Sunday School teachers and youth group leaders and we have stuck with the church through thick and thin. We would love to have new members but they should not expect us to change for them. In fact, it only seems right that they would get used to the way we do things. 5. We are content with the church just the way it is While many church members report wanting the church to grow in numbers, spirit and finances, many are also basically content with the status quo. They experience church in a positive way and have constructed some portion of their life around it. They are not seeking significant change. They don’t have a drive to introduce a lot of new things into the life of the congregation. They value harmony and seek to avoid the conflict change can bring. If the leaders do not feel an

Text Box: Why We Do Not Do Better Hospitality Dr. Don Nations, DNA Coaching, 2008

Old River Terrace United Methodist Church